In the realm of modern dating, where endless swiping and confusing algorithms often hinder the search for love, Chloe Gray shines as a beacon of guidance and expertise. Through her innovative company, Advice by Chloe, she leverages her clinical background and passion for dating psychology to empower individuals on their quest for meaningful connections.
Chloe’s unique approach, rooted in evidence-based strategies and a profound understanding of the complexities of dating in the digital age, has earned her a loyal following and a reputation for delivering tangible results. Her clients not only receive actionable advice but also gain invaluable insights into themselves, enabling them to navigate the dating world with confidence and clarity.
Join us as we explore the world of Chloe Gray and embark on an inspiring journey that delves into the intersection of psychology, relationships, and the pursuit of love in the 21st century.
- Can you share your journey and the pivotal moments that led you from your clinical background to becoming a renowned dating coach and entrepreneur?
Absolutely! My journey was a bit of a rollercoaster. Back in 2019, I was laid off from my job while in grad school. With my savings running out, I turned to Reddit’s SlaveLabour subreddit, offering to fix dating profiles for $5 a pop. To my surprise, the response was overwhelming. In just a few hours, I was booked solid for weeks… and Advice by Chloe was created.
I built a website, streamlined my services, and kept refining my approach based on client feedback. Now, I spend my days helping people find love, teaching communication skills, and running experiments on dating apps. It’s been an incredible journey, and I feel so lucky to do what I love every day!
- In an age where dating apps and algorithms dominate the scene, how do you help your clients create authentic connections and stand out in the digital crowd?
Here’s the thing that trips people up: dating apps are not dating. Dating apps are a tool that we use to obtain dates. It’s an important distinction, because there’s a lot of talk about genuine connections and authenticity on dating apps… but that’s not what dating apps were built for. I wish that dating apps were more conducive to authentic connection, but they just aren’t.
If you’re pursuing women on the apps, she’s likely getting hundreds of likes per day and is having the same conversation, simultaneously, with a dozen matches. Your goal is to offer her something better. Focus on banter and a short, fun conversation, and then ask her out and get her off the app. It’s not dating until you’ve been on a date. Authenticity is important in dating. Strategy is essential on dating apps.
- What role does self-awareness and personal growth play in your coaching approach?
Most of my clients are straight men who don’t understand why their dates end poorly, so I spend a great deal of time teaching them female psychology. Men and women have been socialized very differently for thousands of years, and that leads to lots of communication issues. The way we express interest is different, the way we want and show affection is different, the way we resolve conflict is different. I teach my clients how to listen to their partner and how to express themselves in a way that allows them to be heard.
- With the rise of virtual dating and long-distance relationships, what unique challenges have you encountered, and how have you adapted your strategies to address them?
Haha, Advice by Chloe started during the Covid pandemic, so virtual dating is our foundation! After a few years of working with clients in quarantine, it took a minute to get back into the swing of real-life interactions. Now, there’s a nice balance. I still have multiple clients a day who hire me to build their dating profile, but I also have several clients who are working on improving their cold approaches, dates, and relationships.
- In your experience, what are the key factors that contribute to a successful and long-lasting relationship, and how do you help your clients cultivate these elements?
A successful, long-lasting relationship needs two emotionally available people working together to build the life they want to have. It sounds simple, but the real work is in the details. It can be tough to learn how to be a good partner, because often, our partner’s needs look different than our own. Data shows that the cornerstone for health relationships is a combination of open communication, healthy conflict resolution, expressing and feeling appreciation, feeling safe, wanted, and attractive, and having a shared vision for the future.
There’s nothing more satisfying that receiving a wedding invitation from a couple I helped to find each other, and I’m so grateful to be a small part of their story.
- As a dating coach, you must encounter a diverse range of clients with varying backgrounds and experiences. How do you tailor your approach to meet their individual needs and perspectives?
Everything I do is tailored to each client. When it comes to dating and relationships, goals and experiences vary widely. There are certainly universal truths, but all my services are focused on each client’s specific goals. On any random day, my appointments can range across a wide spectrum.
For example, today I had a 72-year-old widower who hasn’t been in a date in 50 years, someone looking to improve their hookups, a 35-year-old who wanting to settle down, and then I finished with a professional struggling with social cues at work. Every day is different, every client is unique. It keeps me on my toes, and I absolutely love it.
- Looking ahead, what exciting developments or innovations do you foresee in the dating industry, and how are you preparing to stay at the forefront of this ever-changing landscape?
The dating landscape is always evolving. Covid was an extreme example, but dating norms and trends are constantly shifting. I’m constantly collecting new research, running meta-analyses on existing studies, and I conducting research of my own.
Unfortunately, the field is full of pickup artists and scam artists whose techniques that don’t result in sustainable change and can be harmful. With a master’s degree in social work and a background as a therapist, it’s incredibly important to me that I’m actually helping people. Every service from Advice by Chloe is actionable and designed to teach clients skills that they can use on their own. I don’t foster dependence or rely on manipulation tactics, and my clients see that.
Advice by Chloe continues to grow because it’s effective. I love my job. I spend my days helping people find connection, my evenings researching human behavior- and I do it all in my pjs. I’m living in my happy place.
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